Changing Tides

* Inspired by the play 'Honour' by Joanna Murray-Smith *
Note: Contains mild course language. Based on an original transcript.

[Darkness surrounds the room. A male voice can be heard]
CARL: Are you trying to eliminate me from your life? Do you want me to leave, forever? [Beat] I mean, yes, I know I hurt you Rachael and I know this is sudden. I'm probably the last person you'd ever want to talk to [Beat] I can't even imagine how upset you feel towards me - towards everything. Heh, I bet you think I'm just some cold, heartless asshole. [Pause] But it's not like I've just stopped thinking about you. I said I would always love you and I meant it. [Beat] It's just - Everything turned out differently to what he had originally planned. I mean this when I tell you: I never expected this to happen. [Beat] Yes I feel bad, but do I regret my decision? No, I do not. [He sighs] As much as I wanted to deny it at first, I AM in love with Louise. [Beat] So cut all ties with me if you like, do anything, because I guess I deserve it, right? But, regardless of what happens, I'll always love you.

[Room lights up. A young woman is sitting on a chair, gathering her thoughts. Her back is facing a door. She blinks a few times, returning to reality]

RACHAEL: Yes, you did hurt me Carl. [Pause] But I guess it was for the best, no? I think I learned a valuable lesson. Back then, I didn't know what I felt towards you. [Beat] But I guess what was done - was done. It's over now - that was the past. Now, our routine is back to sameness, or so I thought. [Beat] Do I regret my decision to take you back? Perhaps. Maybe I cling to the hope of going back to our old, daily routine. [Beat] Or perhaps, it's too late. Maybe it's just-

[The door flings open. In storms Carl, looking angry. He stands in front of Rachael]
CARL: Hey you. I am not very happy at ALL. [Pause] You can assume why, because I'm ridiculously tired of explaining my goddamned life story to you over and over again. [Beat] [Shifting down a gear] I don't know why I'm even here, or the purpose of you to me anymore
[Rachael remains unmoving with an unreadable face]
RACHAEL: Oh?
CARL: It sure doesn't feel like you are anyone to me anymore. To me, you feel like a complete stranger and I find it hard to even make myself believe that I once called you my Amor. [He begins to pace the room] You know I'd love to continue calling you such a name, but I'm running out of reasons to even bother. [Beat] [Quietly] You're not here for me at all anymore. You've become a selfish mess, fuelled for the desire of 'achieving academically' in life.
RACHAEL: [Passive and gentle] Deep down you've been dying to scream that at me [Pause] and deep down you know I'm right. I guess being wrapped up in this supposed 'selfishness' has protected me in a way. [Beat] The greater the distance between our voices, the more I feel at ease.
CARL: [Taken aback] What are you saying?
RACHAEL: [She stands up] I longed for sameness. I relished the predictability of my life. I thought that by giving this another chance would allow for the repetition of our lives before. [She glances momentarily at Carl] I guess I was wrong. Did I love you when we started anew? [Pause] Perhaps I longed to be loved. [Beat] I guess I was was wrong, thinking there was some hope of savouring what was left. You cannot recover something that died out long ago.
CARL: But-
[Silence. The truth is felt by both of them]
[At a loss] That's it? We have nothing at all? I guess - I guess that year was for nothing then. Everything was for nothing then, Rachael. This was all pointless from the start. [Beat] Well, I guess I'm not going to 'do' relationships anymore, because love always seems to just leave me left alone and hurt. Love doesn't mean anything to me anymore. It's just another word that can hurt me in the end. I knew this day was inevitable, but I never knew how much it would kill me inside. [He goes towards the door] Don't expect to hear from me any time soon, because since you don't seem to care anymore, I don't think I will either. Goodbye Rachael, I'm sorry I messed with your life. You'd probably have been better off had you not met me at all.
RACHAEL: [Smiling quietly to herself] I know I would have. . .
[End]

* Original image is not mine *
* Image source: http:// browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=a+play#/d2ae2wr *