* An original piece of writing based on thoughts and dreams *
Day 1:
Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamt of surreal possibilities and discovering more about the unknown. I was accepted by those I admire, like one does with a close friend. It was there, where I didn't have to worry about anything at all.
It was there where I felt truly at peace. I feel that the harsh claws of reality cannot sink itself into me.
That is. . .until I wake up.
The weather appears warm today.
Day 2:
I have come to the conclusion that I am not 100% - a part of me is missing. I feel as though the eyes are quickly losing their sparkle.
I dreamt of Him last night - and at first it was painful, reality caught up with me briefly, but later, I felt complete.
Of course, reality always wins. . .
I could feel reality tip his hat and smile evily, having dangled something I treasure the most right before my eyes, and then snatch it away from my grasp as I woke up.
I tried to distract myself from thoughts of Him, but in the end, my mind fails me. Everything always wanders back to Him. I feel as though I shall be the last thing on His mind, for I assume he'll be caught up in such a flurry.
I am not sure how I can cope - all I know is that I cannot go on like this. It's unnatural.
Again, the weather looks beautiful to a point where it saddens me. I miss experiencing it while staying within my four walls. There is too much to do. . .
Going to finish some writing today if I can find the motivation to. After all, I've got to look forward to something now, don't I?
Day 3:
Today has definitely been better than the last two. Escapes have provided me with some sense of sanity. I love how it nurses me - it wraps its loving arms around me. I feel numb towards reality, who mind you, sits behind my shoulder. . .lurking, while in the company of my escape.
I felt the eyes watch me from a distance for once. They were half disappointed, half curious. I look in the mirror and laugh at the person who stands there before me, confused. I never knew how much His distance could hurt me.
This is not how it is meant to be.
The sky is slowly changing its hue. I knew the brightness could not last long. . .
Day 4:
It seems my days collapse into the other, as I tend to relive yesterday's routine. I can't exert myself to altering this, for I feel too comfortable being blinded for hours on end. I have come to the conclusion that I am happier when with my escape - despite this being not real. Perhaps, I may cope.
The withered figure looks at me sadly from the reflection mirror, almost pleading, but remaining silent. A part of me dies inside. She needs me, like I need Him.
The weather is definitely colder now.
Day 5:
I have become caught up in this distraction, almost like a poison. My escape is too tempting, sometimes I want to delve into that world and never come back. However, reality still holds be back on a leash - I know it is for a reason.
I know I must be careful and let reality have a small bite to ensure I do not get too carried away. After all, there is still work to be done. By balancing the two, I know I will cope.
Windy weather rattles the shackles on my feet - loosening them.
Day 6:
My dreams have continued to keep me safe, yet, when I wake up, they tend to linger painfully behind - like a burn. However, I am finding the pain lessens with time. More so, I can feel the spark slowly returning on its own, thankfully. It's surprising considering they were wounded last night.
They were surrounding Him - I couldn't help but feel insignificant. I feared this would happen and he would possibly be unaware.
It's about time the eyes shone once again.
The shackles are broken thanks to the wind - the first few steps are taken.
Day 7:
Reality sent me a precious gift to which I clutched to with all my might. I guess I had finally stood his test of distance - and this was my reward. I felt him smile and gracefully glide off into the distance. His work had been done. My gift nursed me and clensed me of my previous troubles. Although only here for a while, She groomed me.
The figure stared back at me with approval and the eyes shone once more.
He is here, although to some extent a part of him is still missing. I dare not try to interfere - I don't want to be burnt again. I know He will be able to tend to the last traces of damage.
After all, He is the only one who made me whole.
*Image Source: http://actress.deviantart.com/art/Clock-7492812?q=boost%3Apopular+clock&qo=16 *
I have read this several times. It is as if you are torn between two forces - the reality that requires some duty and loyalty and the reality that is spirituality. But the spiritual realm is also divided between The Fires and an ethereal, safe presence. It could be "He" of traditional Christianity, but it may not! Perhaps it is a Greater Being not yet fully known!
ReplyDeleteFascinating diary entries. Perhaps they may become recorded sign posts of the roads you have travelled, guiding you into further journeys.