Black Bird.

* Referencing a post made in 2010 *

The black bird kissed the clouds,

Dived through the smoke in the Summer sky.

While the tiny snail blissfully danced,

To the rain on a moss garden.

Aftermath pt. II

* A continuation of the play, as part of a writing challenge *

[8pm:  Alice’s Apartment]

(Time has passed. ALICE and ROCKY sort through what is left of ROCKY’s belongings in the lounge room.)

ALICE: (Busy sorting, not looking at ROCKY) I finally managed to speak to Tom today.
ROCKY: (Avoiding eye contact) I know.
ALICE: You told him to speak to me?
ROCKY: I let him know how you felt. (Pause) Nothing more.
(Beat)
He’s a busy man but he cares, you know.
ALICE: (Muttering) I thought it was too good to be true.
ROCKY: You didn’t like it?
ALICE: It’s not that.
(Beat)
ROCKY: (Looking at ALICE) He misses you too.
ALICE: (Quietly) I know.
(Beat)
You know, he was right.
ROCKY: About?
ALICE: I’d rather not go into specifics.

(An uncomfortable silence - ROCKY and ALICE continue to sort through ROCKY’s belongings)
ROCKY: (Shifting up a gear) You know, I don’t like being ‘worked on’, I like to be ‘worked with’. I need you to start talking to me. I want to help.
(Beat)
I miss being important to you - and when you close up on me, all I can do is feel scared.
(Beat)
ALICE: (Frowning, deep in thought) There are just too many things that will haunt me for a while. That cannot be helped. These thoughts. . .these emotions - they won’t just disappear. (Pause) Spending all this time with you while you sort out your things certainly doesn’t help either.(Beat)
ROCKY: I have a question.
ALICE: What is it?
ROCKY: (Discarding a CD) When you’re feeling happy, does any of that matter?
ALICE: Time apart gives me space and room to breathe.
ROCKY: And time has also brought us closer. (Moving closer towards ALICE, somewhat confident) I’ve noticed it’s made you happier than you’ve been in a while. (Mocking) I don’t think Daniel has even made you that happy.
ALICE: (Ignoring ROCKY’s comment) You can’t force someone to simply forget it all.
ROCKY: No, I can’t.

(ROCKY watches ALICE for a while, thinking to himself. ALICE appears to be getting increasingly flustered)

ROCKY: One thing.
ALICE: (Stops sorting) Yes?
ROCKY: I just thought of it. (Pause) You told me a while ago, remember, your main worry with relationships.
ALICE: Infidelity.
ROCKY: Right - and I said I’d never cheat on you. I’ll bet Daniel said the same thing to you.
(Beat)
But every man dreams of spending the night with two women. (Pause) I can guarantee Daniel has done it too. (Shifting up a gear, seeing the look on ALICE’s face) Now, that doesn’t mean they do it, heck, if they have any amount of respect for their loved ones.
ALICE: (Rolling her eyes) He’s not like that.
ROCKY: (Slowly) I’ll bet that if you could see into his mind, you’d see a lot of things in there that you don’t like, and a few things you’d have never known.
(Beat)
Believe me or not, that’s something I know Daniel has thought of - not because I know him personally, but because: A: he’s a man, and B: he’s human.
ALICE: How would you even--
ROCKY: (Interrupting her) Yes, it’s pathetic. But that’s how we work.
(Beat)
Don’t worry, I would have rather had nails driven through my hands than cheat on you.

ALICE: (Shifting up a gear, clearly annoyed) Oh no, after much careful consideration I don’t think you’d be even capable of something like that. (Pause) But pushing the boundaries? Definitely.
(Beat)
I wouldn’t put it past you to get wrapped up in a certain idea, but not necessarily having the ability to act on it.
ROCKY (Speaking quickly, ignoring her comment) But you know what? It doesn’t matter. We’re here now. I hurt you - and you hurt me.
ALICE: Rocky.
(Beat)
You were verbally and emotionally abusive. (Incredulously) Don’t you see that?
ROCKY: Would I be who I am now if I didn’t? (Sighing, shifting down a gear) Yes, I see what I did was wrong - and I’m still here. (Pause) Nearly a month later - trying to be good enough to deserve you, despite all that.
(Beat)
(Quietly, slowly reaching for ALICE’s hand) I know I can’t change your feelings - they’ll be there regardless. You feel pain and anger at these memories you have over me that you can’t get rid of. (Pause) That’s okay.

(ALICE quickly pulls away and hurries over to the nearby open window. She pulls out a cigarette and fumbles as she lights it)
ALICE: (Avoiding eye contact, talking quickly) Just remember that at the end of the day I always came back to you. Always. I never got too close to people I shouldn’t have - and I certainly didn’t embarrass you by scolding you like a child--
ROCKY: (Interrupting ALICE) Alice.
ALICE: Don’t you see?
ROCKY: (Taking a step towards her) Alice.
ALICE: (Putting her hand up to stop him) No.
(Beat)
No. (Pause) Deep down, I am still very, very angry.
ROCKY: I know that.
(Beat)
No matter what you do, you always will be.

(ROCKY gathers the remainder of his belongings in silence and turns away to leave - bag over his shoulder)
ALICE: (Calling after him) You’re wrong about Daniel. He’s different.
ROCKY: (Over his shoulder) Everyone likes to think their love is special.
(Beat)
You’ll learn it for yourself, like I did.
(ALICE turns away from ROCKY to look out of the window)
It’s not, you know. (Pause) And he’s not.
(Beat)
Some day, he’ll make you cry.

Fin.

Aftermath

* A friend gave me a writing challenge: To create something that was three pages long. I decided to make another play. *

[10pm: Alice’s Apartment Balcony]

(ALICE and ROCKY lounge on the balcony rails, overlooking the nightlife of London)

ROCKY: I know you say it’s only a break. (Pause) But it doesn’t feel like it. I’m sorry that I’ve been bugging you about the whole situation. But I need you to understand - whether or not I stay with you is completely out of my control.
(Beat)

Shouldn’t I feel scared? (Pause) If I lose you now, I know I’ll never find anyone else. So I’m sorry that I’ve been bugging you - no, harassing you about this.
(Beat)
I’m just scared. . .Scared and lonely.

ALICE: (Unnerved) There is no point coming back and trying once more, only to fall into the same situation again. (Pause) You do know that, don’t you?
ROCKY: Well --
ALICE: (Interrupting ROCKY) Because I don’t want to try once more. Not unless if I’m 100% certain that this is something worth fighting for. Don’t you know that any possible doubt will just eat away at me? I can’t handle anymore underlying issues that are just waiting to crack open again.

(ALICE walks towards the end of the balcony and lights up a cigarette. She inhales deeply before exhaling and sighing) ALICE: (Shifting down a gear) I’m normally a patient person, but I became tired of waiting around for things to just happen. I became tired of voicing my opinion only for it to fall onto deaf ears. No one was listening.
ROCKY: I don’t understand.

ALICE: At some point in time, I was just your back up - used when only necessary. You thought you could see me whenever, right? That I’d just be around all the time, waiting on you? How long did it take you to realise that I had things to do too - and that I couldn’t just keep dropping everything I was doing just for the sake of you?
ROCKY: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know I can’t argue with you, because this is your decision. (Pause) I just don’t want you to hate me.
(Beat)
Can I say one thing?
ALICE: What is it?
ROCKY: (He looks at ALICE, sincerely) I want you to know that everything I ever did, ever since I fell in love with you, nothing was meant to hurt. (Pause) Nothing.

(ROCKY walks to the other end of the balcony, opposite ALICE, and continues to look at the night life)
ROCKY: (Not looking at ALICE) I want to ask you something.
ALICE: Yes?
ROCKY: What would you tell people about me?
(ALICE raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t respond)(ROCKY continues) I know I asked you about your exes. I just wonder what you’d say to the next one about me - if you left, I mean.

(ALICE deeply inhales her cigarette again)
ALICE: (Exhaling) That this was a person who impacted my life dramatically - to a point where I didn’t realise I could ever feel so close to anyone before. This person gave me some of my best memories. . .
(ROCKY smiles softly)
But also my worst.
(Beat)
(Rising up a gear) You know, I didn’t think it was possible - that a person could have so much power to manipulate another human being. Like, how was it possible that their simplest actions could eat me away inside? (Pause) It’s funny, really; when Jacob and I were together and he lied about everything, I thought it was the biggest slap in the face I could ever receive. But then you come along, with something so simple - and it hurts just so much more.
(Silence. ALICE sighs and puts out her unfinished cigarette)
ROCKY: (Hurt by ALICE’s words) If you’d like, when I come by tomorrow to pick up more of my things, I won’t come out here and try to talk to you. I won’t say a word.
ALICE: (Quietly) Yes, that would be good.
(Beat)
(ROCKY turns to ALICE)
ROCKY: (At a loss) I love you, you know.
(ALICE averts her gaze and focuses on the nightlife)
I’d like to be able to hear you say it, one day. I miss it.
ALICE: Hm?
ROCKY: (Softly) Hearing you tell me that you love me. (Pause) But I know you won’t say it right now - because I know that you wouldn’t want it to potentially mean nothing. You’ve told me before that you don’t want to lie to me, because you don’t know. . .
(ROCKY trails off, becoming emotional. He tries to compose himself)

(ALICE looks at ROCKY, startled)
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. (Aside, to himself) Damn it, I’m crying again when I thought I was done with that. (To ALICE, quickly drying his eyes with his sleeve and laughing nervously) I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.
ALICE: (Muttering to herself) I do.

(ROCKY nervously fidgets, trying to redeem himself)
ROCKY: You know, the guys. . .they sometimes I wonder if I’m overreacting about it all. I was even told I shouldn’t blame myself. (Pause, becoming calmer) But yet, I feel like I’m the only one who understands what I might lose.
(Beat)
And I don’t want to lose you, Alice.
(Silence)
ALICE: (Stretching and avoiding eye contact) I think you should go. It’s getting late. (Pause) I think ‘out of sight, out of mind’ is the best advice to follow for now.
ROCKY: (With a little bit of confidence) You know, if there’s one thing I can do, it’s staying out of the way. (Backing down, after seeing ALICE’s expression) I’m sorry. I should have let you get back to what you were doing before.

(ROCKY slowly bends down to pick up a cardboard box full of clothes and tucks it under one arm)ROCKY: Well, since I won’t hear from you, I just hope you have a good day tomorrow.(He goes to exit but stops)You know, I think what hurts the most is the downward spiral I get into. Whenever I’ve told you just how much this whole situation is killing me, I expect that same, sweet and loving Alice to at least try and say something comforting.
(Beat)
Guess I should remember my motto: ‘Expect nothing and hope for the best’.
ALICE: (Sighing softly) Rocky --
ROCKY: (Interrupting) I know, I know - and I’m going. I’d promised myself today I’d try and stop ranting and raving to you. So I’m going. (Pause, gently) There are so many things I want to say to you though, but I know you just want to be left alone.
ALICE: Yes, I need the space.
ROCKY: Just know that I’ll be thinking of you.
(Beat)
I always think of you.

Fin.